


Chemistry Lessons

by lady_moevot



Category: Gotham (TV)
Genre: F/M, First Kiss, First Time, Intimacy, awkward attempts at flirting
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-11-08
Updated: 2015-01-26
Packaged: 2018-02-24 13:58:45
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 15,160
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2583863
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lady_moevot/pseuds/lady_moevot
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After a few failed attempts at flirting with Ms. Kringle, Nygma decides to get advice from a co-worker.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Lesson 1: Finding the Foundations

**Author's Note:**

> I'm writing this because Nygma and Kristen immediately charmed me, and I like the idea of them together, even if it's destined to end badly. If this goes where I want it to go, the rating will go up in a few chapters.

  Edward hummed quietly to himself as the elevator lowered steadily into the ground. He was well below the parking garage now, separated from the rest of Gotham by layers of concrete and metal. Detectives Gordon and Bullock had finished another case and Edward had volunteered to take the paperwork to the records annex. He straightened his lab coat and cleared his throat as the elevator brakes hissed to a stop and the doors slid sideways to let him off. Stepping out into the hallway, Edward moved the folders to his left arm and listened to his shoes tapping lightly on the tile as he approached her door. His long legs carried him there quickly and he tried to think of what he could say to move the conversation in a more casual direction as he extended his hand to turn the doorknob.

  "Good afternoon, Ms. Kringle," Edward said brightly as he pushed open the door. He gave her a smile, but the one he got in return seemed a bit trepid. Dismissing the notion that Kristen might be apprehensive, he continued on. "I've brought you another closed case for... your records." He gestured at the many filing cabinets that cluttered the small room, still feeling the urge to re-organize the material.

  "Thank you, Mr. Nygma," Kristen replied, pushing away from her desk and standing. Edward stepped forward, closing the distance to her desk in a few strides. He handed the folders to her, his finger brushing against hers in the transaction. If she noticed the touch, it didn't register on her face. She put the files on top of a growing stack on the corner of her desk.

  "I-I really could help, you know-," he began, half turning to the rest of the room.

  "Nygma, please," Kristen said, a note of distress in her voice.

  "I know, inappropriate," Edward interrupted, turning back and meeting Kristen's eyes. He could feel himself losing his nerve under her pin sharp stare; he needed to act, quickly. "Ms. Kringle, there was something else I needed, if you have a moment?"

  "Actually, Mr. Nygma, I'm really busy. I'm still resorting some of my files and trying to pull up reports for different detectives, I really don't have time for riddles." Her voice wavered slightly toward the middle, and her eyes darted down, as if to scrutinize a spot on Edward's tie. Edward watched her lips press together, drawn down at the corners slightly. He got the sense she was uncomfortable, and it was making him uncomfortable. He needed to leave.

  "Oh... Well, another time, then," he said, voice grossly cheerful, even to him. "Until then, Ms. Kringle."

  He turned on his heel and all but ran from the room. Once safely out in the hall, Edward exhaled and adjusted his glasses. He didn't know why he was so easily flustered around her, or why she always seemed alarmed to see him. He walked back toward the elevator, trying to work out what had gone wrong this time. He tried to concentrate on his work, he really did, but his mind kept creeping back to Ms. Kringle, the keeper of records. Edward hadn't considered asking for help before - it simply wasn't his "style" to do so, it had never been - but now he was getting frustrated and his every attempt seemed to make things worse. But even if he could swallow his pride, who would he ask? Most of the detectives kept their distance from him unless they needed his help on a case; granted, that was often, but they weren't friendly with him, he'd picked up on that much. They thought he was 'odd,' and made fun of him, though usually not to his face. As he ran through the names and faces of the field agents, one name stuck out; he hadn't known Jim Gordon for long, if 'known' was really the right word, but he seemed decent - a rare trait in Gotham.

 

-

 

  "Detective Gordon?" Jim half-jumped out of his chair at the sound of Nygma's voice; he recovered quickly, though, his reflexes saving his coffee as he settled back in his chair and pretended he hadn't just been scared by the lanky forensic. He sighed and set his mug down before swiveling his chair to face Nygma.

  "What is it, Nygma?" He tried to keep his tone level - he didn't want to yell at the guy for catching him off-guard.

  "I was wondering if I might ask your advice?" Nygma said, standing awkwardly in front of Jim, his hands clutching a notebook.

  "My advice?" Jim was confused, certainly. In his short time with the GCPD, he had learned very quickly that Edward Nygma, though weird, was a genius. What he could possibly need Jim's advice on was beyond him. "On what?"

  "Who," Nygma corrected.

  "Who?"

  "It's not what, per se, but who."

  "Nygma, if this is another riddle.."

  "No, it's Kringle," Nygma blurted.

  "Kringle?"

  "Kristen Kringle, she works in the records annex downstairs," Nygma explained, quirking his eyebrow as if it should have been obvious.

  "Okay... Not following."

  "I was wondering if you could... give me some pointers," Nygma started, his voice quieter than before. His eyes darted around anxiously, and suddenly it made sense.

  "Give you some pointers on... _asking her out_?" Jim asked, trying not to laugh.

  The look Nygma gave him was a mixture of desperation and distaste. The forensic specialist sighed. "Yes. I keep trying to make small talk, but socializing isn't exactly my area of expertise. Could you help me?"

  Jim wanted to say no; he had no idea how to coach someone in the art of seduction, especially not someone like Edward Nygma, but- "I'll see what I can do."


	2. Lesson 2: Collecting Information

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning: mention of rape.

  "So, let me get this straight. You've never asked a girl out before?" Jim asked, finding it hard to keep the mocking edge off his words. His shift had ended an hour ago, and he had promised to meet Nygma outside the station for his 'lessons' on women. Nygma was on break, so he only had time to go over the basics, which he knew wouldn't be enough to help Edward if the way said forensic was staring at him expectantly was any indication. No wonder he was striking out with the girl from records; if Jim was a woman on the receiving end of that stare, he'd be pretty creeped out, too.

  "That's correct. I'm sure this comes as no big surprise, but I was very unpopular in school - even though I was smarter than everyone, including my teachers," Nygma explained with that strange smile of his. Jim cocked an eyebrow - of course, it wasn't a surprise, but it seemed rude to agree. Nygma didn't seem to notice Jim's silence, though; he continued with a more serious expression. "The very few attempts I made at interacting with girls in school went horribly wrong; most of them ended with the girl laughing at me.. one ended with the girl screaming."

  Jim started, his eyes widening as he looked at Nygma, who smiled sheepishly into his coffee. "I vomited on her shoes."

  "Oh," Jim breathed a sigh of relief, then gave Nygma a sympathetic smile. "So, then, why did you come to me?"

  "Well, because, you always seem so collected and confident. And I've seen your girlfriend, so I figure you must know what you're doing when it comes to talking to women," Nygma said, beaming at Gordon as if he had paid him the highest compliment. If it were anyone else, Jim might've told him to keep his eyes off his girlfriend, but he sensed Nygma didn't mean to be disrespectful.

  "Uh, yeah, I guess. So, what exactly is the problem? Can't get the words out?"

  "Actually, I can't get the conversation to go in that direction. If I could just get her talking about something other than the records, I might feel comfortable enough to breach the subject."

  Jim suspected it wasn't so much as getting her to talk about other things, as it was to get Nygma to just be straightforward. "Well, how does it normally go when you talk to her?"

 

-

 

  Edward's first time meeting Kristen had been... awkward, to say the least. He'd made a huge fool of himself, and if she was the sort to stick to first impressions, he could understand why she seemed put off by him. When he'd heard there was a new records clerk, he didn't think much of it - he assumed the person was male and wasn't terribly interested in meeting someone new until necessary. Eventually, it was necessary, so Edward made the trip down to the annex. Pushing his glasses up the bridge of his nose, he inhaled and turned the doorknob.

  "Hello, my name's Edward Nygma, I'm here to-" Edward's voice had started out clear and confident, but when he saw who was sitting behind the desk, his voice seemed to stop working. He cleared his throat, which felt like it contained the rest of his sentence, and tried again. "I'm here to check out the file on a um, serial rapist named Covak."

  The woman behind the desk had been staring at him, hardly blinking at his request. "Alright, Mr. Nygma," she said, standing and walking around the desk. As she came closer, Edward watched the way her hips moved with each step. Her eyes were on the filing cabinets, darting back and forth as she read the labels, searching for the one she needed.

  "You're new here," Edward said, moving aside as she came to a stop at a filing cabinet beside him. He could smell her perfume; it was vanilla, with a musky undertone of old books.

  "Uh, yes." The woman pulled open the second drawer and began sifting through the folders.

  Edward frowned. He thought she might be more talkative than that, or might at least tell him her name. It was a perfectly good opportunity, at least he had thought. Wracking his brain for something clever to say, he decided on a riddle. "Riddle me this! Almost everyone sees me without noticing me, for what is beyond is what he or she seeks. What am I?"

  The new clerk sighed and pulled out a folder before closing the drawer and turning back to him. "Here's the file. I'll need you to sign for it before you leave," she said, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. She nibbled on her lip as she handed him the folder, drawing his focus to her mouth. He noticed, with a jolt of excitement, how full and pink her lips were. They complemented her other features well, which were all cute individually, but altogether made her beautiful. The more he stared at her lips, the more he became aware of a heat building in his lower abdomen, and her eyes watching him. Edward cleared his throat and met her eyes.

  "Do you know the answer to the riddle, Ms.-?"

  "Kringle. And no, Mr. Nygma. Riddles were never my forté."

  Edward smiled, pleased at having stumped another person. "It's a window."

  Ms. Kringle gave him a small smile, the corners of her lips pulling up briefly. "Oh, of course. They're always obvious after you hear the answer."

  He frowned; he thought most riddles were obvious without the answer. "You needed me to sign for this?"

  "Right," Ms. Kringle nodded, turning on her heel and walked back to her desk. Rather than walk around, she bent over the surface to dig the log of check outs from a drawer. Edward swallowed another lump that had formed in his throat; where her skirt had been somewhat loose-fitting before, her current angle made the fabric cling to the curve of her backside. As he strode forward to sign his name, he could feel the telltale heat of arousal slowly spreading to his nether region. Trading the folder between hands and using it for cover, Edward took the pen Ms. Kringle offered him and scribbled his name and the date. 

  "It's a strange thing, rape." The words were out of his mouth before he realized what he was saying. "If a person wanted intercourse that badly, there are people they can pay for it. Why would they go through the trouble of force when they could have a willing participant?"

  Looking at Ms. Kringle, he noticed her back had straightened to rigidness. "It's not about sex, Mr. Nygma, it's about power," she replied, and he could've sworn he could hear a note of anger in her voice. She turned to face him, stepped forward even, until she was mere inches away. Edward's pants were painfully tight now, but he had no way of adjusting himself discreetly under her glare. "And it's not strange, it's disgusting."

  Edward felt his cheeks flush and he knew he should leave. He placed the pen back on her desk and looked down at her. "Right, of course. I only meant that-," he said, trying to explain himself before he was interrupted.

  "I know what you meant, but it's wrong. Anyway, I have a lot to do, Mr. Nygma," Ms. Kringle sighed, backing away from him and walking around her desk.

  "Of course, I'll just... see myself out." Edward turned to leave, but the folder he was holding slipped through his fingers, which had gone sweaty from nerves. "Sorry!" he nearly shouted as he bent down to scoop up the papers. He crammed them into the folder and stood. "It was nice to meet you, Ms. Kringle," Edward said, giving her one more glance, but when he met her eyes, he realized her focus was drawn down. Following her gaze, he saw what she was eyeing: the bulge in the front of his trousers. He quickly covered himself with the folder again, stammered a goodbye, and left the annex as fast as he could.

 

-

 

  By the end of Nygma's re-telling of his first encounter with Kristen Kringle, Jim decided he couldn't think of a worse scenario for a first meeting. "Ok, Nygma, first things first. Rape isn't a great topic for casual conversation," he said, rubbing his temple. This was going to take a lot of work. He wasn't going to mention the boner situation, because it wasn't like it hadn't happened to him, and it was just far too awkward to address. "Another thing is, boundaries. If you know where the line is, you don't cross it and you don't make her uncomfortable."

  "It has never been my intention to make her uncomfortable, I've just been trying to talk to her," Nygma argued. He looked upset, and kept glancing at his watch.

  "I didn't say it was. It's just sometimes you come off a little strong. Maybe try dialing it down the next time you talk to her," Jim suggested. "And no riddles; women might play mind games, but they don't appreciate them when they're on the receiving end. Try being straightforward with her, tell her you think she's cute."

  Nygma looked almost horrified at the idea of simply saying what he thought about Kristen to her face, which made Jim smile. "I'm telling you, that's the best way to go. Be honest."

  "You're the expert on that," the skinny forensic smiled before glancing at his watch again.

  "You should probably get back, and I need to get home," Jim announced. He patted Nygma on the back before adding, "Try talking to her again."


	3. Lesson 3: Trial and Error

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Armed with Detective Gordon's advice to be "straightforward," Nygma decides to try again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kristen's POV

  Kristen was just about to clock out for lunch when she heard the door to the annex open. Looking up from her bag, she saw Nygma, and immediately her stomach began to knot uncomfortably. He was smiling, like always, but instead of feeling warmed by it, his smile only made her anxious. She wondered what he wanted this time; Kristen prayed he only needed some old case files and wasn't here to give her 'suggestions' or ask her riddles. "Hello, Mr. Nygma," she said, glancing back down at her bag. "What can I do for you?"

  "I was wondering if I might have a moment of your time, Ms. Kringle," he replied, strolling forward. Nygma stopped directly in front of her desk, staring down at her.

  "Actually, Mr. Nygma, I was just about to go get lunch-," she blurted, happy to have an excuse. Maybe she was being mean, constantly avoiding him, but he was so strange it just unnerved her.

  "Oh, I see. I don't want to keep you from that," Nygma sighed. Maybe Kristen was imagining it, but he looked disappointed - for about a second, before his mood was apparently lifted by a thought. "Unless.. Would you mind if I joined you?"

  She did mind, but she couldn't think of a good enough reason to say no. "Sure." That one word seemed to be what he was hoping for; he exhaled sharply, his expression relieved and... proud? What did he need to talk to her about that badly? If it was something work-related and urgent, he would've just asked about it anyway, disregarding her lunch time excuse.

  "Shall we, then, Kristen?" He gave her a different smile then, one that was sweet - that didn't send a chill down her spine. She smiled back at him, her lips parting as the corners of her mouth spread upward. Standing, Kristen put the strap of her bag over her shoulder and rounded her somewhat cluttered desk. She followed him to the door, which he opened for her, and walked to the elevator, Nygma keeping pace easily. He didn't speak as they got on the elevator, but she caught him stealing glances at her from the corner of her eye. Kristen couldn't begin to imagine what this was about, but she hoped he'd get to it quick. The last thing she needed was for him to stick around the entire 30 minutes.

  "Anything particular on your mind?" The sudden question startled her; she turned to look at Nygma so fast her ponytail smacked her in the face. She brushed the strands of hair off her lip gloss before answering, "Sorry?"

  "To eat. I'm not hungry myself, but I would like to get a coffee."

  "Oh, I was going to get a panini from the bistro a block over."

  "Excellent."

  He didn't say anything else, and Kristen didn't push it. If he still hadn't brought up whatever it was he'd sought her out to say by the time she got her lunch, she'd just ask and get it over with. They left the station in silence, and she tried to ignore the looks from detectives and other clerks as they passed. She squinted as the sunlight hit her eyes as they stepped outside.

  "It's so sunny today," Kristen remarked, shielding her face from the sun until her eyes could adjust. She worked long days down in the annex; when she arrived, it was early morning and the buildings blocked out most of the low sunlight, and when she left, the sun was usually on the other side of the city. Looking over, she noticed Nygma wasn't having the problem she was - of course, he worked above ground level and went to work crime scenes often.

  "Nice, isn't it?" He took the lead, but seemed to walk slower than he might have so she could keep up. "Ms. Kringle, I - I'd like to apologize if I've presented myself in a negative way," he blurted about halfway down the street - keeping his eyes ahead, Kristen noted.

  "I'm not sure what you mean, Nygma," she said, trying to sound puzzled. She was, after all, but maybe she could get him to explain himself if she played stupid. She kept glancing at him out of the corner of her eye, wondering where he was going with this. They turned the corner and headed up the block.

  "I mean I'm not very good with people, and I fear I may have given you the wrong idea about me."

  "What idea would that be?"

  "That I wanted to run you off from your job, maybe even this part of Gotham?" he suggested. "That was never my intention."

  "What was your intention?" she asked, her curiosity making her bold.

  "I wanted to... I was trying to - that is to say, failing to - flirt with you," Nygma rambled, his voice rushed, nervous.

  Flirting? Kristen thought. All those strange conversations were him trying to flirt? It made no sense.

  "Why?" she asked, coming to a stop. Nygma paused mid-stride; she watched his foot lower slowly to the ground before he whirled around to face her, faster and more graceful than she would have imagined.

  "Because you're beautiful, and smart," he said, face incredulous, as if it should be obvious to her. Nygma held her eyes for a moment before looking away and adding, "Even though your organizational skills are lacking," under his breath.

  Suddenly, Kristen realized how stupid she had been. It made sense now, sort of. She was stunned into silence; the idea that Nygma might have a crush on her had never entered her mind.

  "I'm sorry, have I been too forward?" Nygma asked when she didn't respond; he looked positively nervous now.

  "No, no. I'm just... trying to process," Kristen assured him, waving her hand in the air as if to dismiss his worries. "It's just that I didn't expect this at all."

  Nygma raised an eyebrow, but his expression was unreadable. "I know I haven't conveyed my feelings well, or at all, until now, but..."

  "What?"

  "There was some embarrassment on my part during our first meeting," he answered in a low voice, looking around to make sure no one within ear shot was listening. "Or had you forgotten?"

  Kristen barely had to think about their first encounter to know what he meant. "No, I really hadn't. I just didn't assume it had anything to do with me."

  "I can assure you, Ms. Kringle," Nygma said, closing the remaining distance between them and looking down at her. "It had everything to do with you."

  Her breath caught in her throat, but she shook it off and exhaled, trying to keep her embarrassment from showing on her face. Kristen continued walking, side stepping Nygma and nodding for him to follow. "So let me get this straight: your notes and riddles, you trying to re-organize my office, that was you _flirting_?"

  "Well, not exactly. At the time, I thought helping you re-do your filing system would be a kind gesture. I was mistaken."

  "Yes, you were," she agreed, a little too quickly. "But the thought behind it was nice."

  She came to a stop outside the bistro, eyeing Nygma as if for the first time. The poor lanky idiot had never meant to give her a hard time, he was just socially inept. Kristen bit her lip, wondering if she should give him a chance. Just then, an unfamiliar ringtone cut through the silence and Nygma fumbled to pull his phone from his pocket. She waited as he answered it, and even though she couldn't hear the other half of the conversation, the look on his face told her he was requested at a scene.

  "I have to go, I'm sorry," Nygma said after hanging up. "Before I go, I wanted to ask if you - I mean, if you're not busy - if you'd like to go out with me sometime?"

  Kristen looked up at Nygma over the frame of her glasses, giving him a small smile. "Only as long as your idea of a date doesn't involve organizing," she said, reaching out to straighten his tie. To her delight, his cheeks flamed red.

  "Not at all, Kristen Kringle."

  "Then how about this Saturday?"

  "I'm sure I can cancel some things," Nygma nodded, like whatever plans he had were no big deal.

  "I'll see you back at the precinct, then, Mr. Nygma."

  "Call me Edward, or Ed, if you prefer," he corrected, giving her a slight bow and leaving.


	4. Lesson 4

  Edward couldn't stop smiling; Jim had been right about being honest with Kristen. He nearly walked by the station, he was so caught up in his relief of not being rejected. Edward had been up all night, practicing what to say, imagining the different ways he could get it wrong - all the ways she could reject him. But it had actually worked, Edward reminded himself as he climbed the steps to the GCPD, still grinning like a madman.

  Once inside, he looked for Detective Gordon to tell him the good news, but it seemed Gordon and Bullock were out working a case. No matter, he'd tell him later. And beg Jim to help him prepare for the date. Now that he had told Kristen he liked her, and she'd accepted his offer of a date, Nygma realized that meant he'd be alone (more or less) with Kristen for at least a few hours. A whole new kind of worry set upon him, and Edward fled to his office to pace and analyze how to get through what he was sure he'd wanted until twenty seconds ago.

  In the semi-privacy of his office, pace he did, his head a blizzard of thoughts and panics. _What would they do, where would they go? What if she thought he was weird still? What if she had an awful time?_ He was sure to make a fool of himself. Edward sat down at his desk and pulled out his notepad and his favorite pen. He tapped the pen lightly against the paper, trying to think of ideas for a good first date. What did people even do on dates? Dinner, movies, flowers, drinking, ~~sex~~? He scribbled out the last word, his cheeks flushing with embarrassment and looking around him to double-check that he was alone. For a brief moment, her lips hovered in his mind's eye, as vivid and realistic as if she were standing in front of him. Edward pushed the image from his thoughts; he needed to figure out something to do for their date, not get caught up in thoughts that would leave him feeling shameful the next time he saw her.

  "Hey, Nygma," the voice made Edward jump, successfully pulling him from his thoughts for the time being. It was Detective Crae, a short, plump woman with a sharp nose and a raspy voice from too many years of smoking. "If you're not too busy, I was hoping you could run some names for me?"

  "Of course," Edward said, flipping his notepad over as the detective approached his desk. He did love puzzles.

 

-

 

  Running the names for Detective Crae proved less of a distraction than Edward Nygma had hoped; he even ran them twice to waste time. When he brought them out to Crae's desk, he saw that Detective Gordon was back, much to his relief. After handing over the results he had dug up on the names, he climbed the steps to Jim's desk, a smile returning to his face.

  Detective Bullock spotted him first, and excused himself with the lewd announcement of a trip to the facilities. When Detective Gordon saw him, he gave Edward a tired smile and a nod of greeting. "Hey, Ed. Did you talk to Kristen?"

  "I did."

  "And?"

  "And your policy of honesty worked! When I asked her out, she said yes."

  "Congrats, Ed," Jim said, giving him a firm pat on the shoulder. "What do you have in mind for this date?"

  Edward adjusted his glasses and cleared his throat. "I don't. The only thing that came to mind was dinner and a movie, but that seems incredibly cliché, and I wanted to do something a bit more special than a standard first date. Do you have any ideas, Detective?"

  Jim licked his lips and scratched the back of his head. "Well, you want to get to know her, right? So take her some place where you can talk. Somewhere public - asking her to come over to your place for a first date might give her the wrong idea."

  "Like what?" he asked; he hadn't planned on having her over at his apartment, but the insight would be good information in any case.

  "Like you're either cheap or expecting something from her?"

  "Right. Okay then, how about the museum? I heard they're having an exhibit on an artist who makes statues from corpses. I'd love to see that."

  The visible grimace on Jim's face at the suggestion told Edward it was a horrible idea. He frowned and tried again. "Or maybe the boardwalk? There's rides and games."

  "Better." Jim nodded his approval, then sat down at his desk, gesturing for Edward to sit across from him at Harvey's desk. "Now, let's talk date etiquette."

  Edward sat down, never taking his eyes off Jim. He was thankful that he didn't need to ask for Jim's advice this time.

  "When you pick her up, compliment her and be courteous, but don't over-do it, or it won't seem genuine," Jim began, leaning forward and resting his arms on the desk. "Don't give her the third degree when you start asking her about herself; keep it casual and basic. You know, what her hobbies are, what books she likes, things like that - don't get too personal too fast."

  He nodded, making mental notes of everything Jim said.

  "Try to read her body language - if she seems uptight, she's uncomfortable and you should probably change the subject; if she's relaxed or smiling, then whatever it is, it's working. Respect her personal space, too. And about the goodnight kiss..."

  Edward's eyes went wide. "Th-the what?"

  Jim laughed, but it didn't sound cruel. "At the end of the night, when you take her back home, if things went well, you should kiss her."

  "I- How will I know if things went well enough for that?"

  "Well, a big clue will be if she hesitates before going inside. If you say goodnight, and she stands there looking at you, take it as a cue."

  He shook his head. "But what if she doesn't want me to kiss her? What if I completely misread things?"

  "Then you apologize and explain that you misread the situation," Jim said, shrugging.

  "What're you two ladies gossiping about?" Detective Bullock's return took Edward by surprise, and he nearly jumped out of his seat. He glanced from Bullock to Gordon, giving the latter a pleading look.

  "Nothing, Harvey," Jim answered.

  "Thank you, Detective Gordon," Edward muttered as he took his leave.

  Jim turned in his chair as Edward made his way to the steps. "Remember, Nygma, no riddles."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fuck titles.


	5. Lesson 5

  Edward stood in front of his closet, the doors swung open so he could survey all his options. He wanted to dress nicely, but since he was taking Kristen to the boardwalk, a suit wouldn't do. He frowned at the small portion of his closet that contained _casual_ clothes - three pairs of blue jeans, some plain button-down shirts, and a pair of sneakers he had only worn a few times. With a sigh of surrender, Edward pulled the darkest pair of jeans from their hanger and stepped into them. They fit him well enough, slim but not too tight. For the shirt, he picked out his favorite; a deep purple one with dark green pin stripes. After he had dressed, he fussed with his hair, first trying a tussled look - which he hated and quickly combed it back into its usual neat part. Looking at the clock, he realized he still had an hour before he needed to pick Kristen up. Edward paced the room, and for a moment, toyed with the idea of calling her and canceling.

  _Don't be stupid,_ he scolded himself. _If you cancel, you'll probably never get another chance with her. Just remember what Jim said. It worked once, so why wouldn't it work again?_ Once he no longer felt like he was going to puke, he gathered up his wallet and keys, leaving the safety of his apartment and setting out to find Kristen's apartment. The directions she had given him were clear, and he doubted he would have any trouble finding it, but it was a fair distance and he didn't own a car. He might've called for a taxi, but he liked walking and it would give him time to think, not that he didn't do enough of that already. Unfortunately, the walk to her place took less time than he thought, so he back tracked to a gift shop he had passed and bought her a sunflower. Edward walked back to her apartment building more slowly, but was still ten minutes early. He thought about waiting, but couldn't stand the thought of procrastinating further, so he pressed the buzzer beside her name.

  "Hello?" Her voice was a little muffled in the static of the old system, but he could have sworn she sounded anxious.

  "Hello. It's Edward.. Nygma. From work? I'm sorry, I'm a little early."

  "It's fine. Come on up."

  There was a buzz, followed by the unmistakeable click of the front door unlocking to let him inside. He entered the building and crossed to the elevator, which opened promptly after pressing the button. He rode up to the 3rd floor and walked along the hall to her apartment, 3D, smirking to himself. He knocked lightly on the door, holding his breath. The door swung in a moment later, Kristen on the other side. She was already dressed; a black, tight fitting skirt shorter than what she normally wore at work, with an emerald colored top that had a modest yet appealing neckline. Edward swallowed, not for a lump in his throat, but the first word that came to mind might have been inappropriate.

  "Oh, wow, you look..," Edward paused, trying to find a single word that captured how she looked without sounding too eager. "Gorgeous. Here, I brought this for you." He held out the sunflower, which she accepted.

  Kristen smiled. "Thanks, you look really good, too, Edward. Come in, I'll only be a minute." She stepped aside and opened the door wider to give him access to her home; he hesitated for a second, the unexpected invitation making him nervous, but stepped inside and immediately began looking at everything. A person's home could tell you many things about the person, Edward thought, and it might give him ideas of what to talk about. The apartment had a much better organizational system than the annex, but he decided not to say as much.

  "Your home is nice."

  "Thanks," Kristen said, gesturing to her living room on the left. "Have a seat, I've just got to get my shoes. Any suggestions?"

  "Something comfortable for walking," Edward answered, sitting down on the plump loveseat. Kristen nodded and disappeared into her bedroom, closing the door behind her. He continued to look around, wanting to get up and go for a closer inspection, but knew it'd be bad for him if he was caught. She came out a few minutes later, still barefoot and teasing her lip nervously.

  "I'm not over dressed for where we're going, am I?" she asked. Edward looked her over again; he didn't know or care much about fashion, especially from a woman's perspective, so he didn't know if she would consider herself over dressed for the boardwalk or not. He'd hate for her to change out of that skirt, but it would probably be distracting.

  "Well, I.. I mean, it's nowhere fancy," Edward could feel himself blushing. What if she thought he was cheap? "I was going to take you to the boardwalk. W-we could ride some of the rides or play the games... But if you don't want to, I can take you somewhere else."

  "Oh, no, that sounds great," she smiled and rushed back into her room, the door not quite meeting the frame and staying ajar. Edward could hear Kristen moving around in her room, presumably changing into something else. He saw a shadow as she passed by the door and stood, walking over carefully. He meant to close the door quietly and return to the loveseat, he really did, but he couldn't help peaking through the space into her bedroom. He could see her standing in front of her closet, her back to the door; she had taken off the skirt and was standing there in her panties. Edward lingered for a moment, knowing it was wrong to spy on her like this. Shaking his head, he backed away from the door and returned to the loveseat, adjusting his pants as he sat down. It was going to be a long night.

  They left Kirsten's apartment a few minutes later, after she had traded her skirt for a pair of jeans and tall boots. She had tried to bring along her wallet, but Edward refused - insisting that he would pay and suggesting she only bring her ID.

  "I have to ask," Kristen said as they walked down the sidewalk. "All this time, why didn't you just ask me out sooner?"

  "I'm not very good at talking to people outside of work related subjects, especially women I find attractive," he answered honestly. "I didn't know how to approach you about it, so I made excuses to come down to see you, thinking maybe I'd have the courage to ask you eventually."

  "You did, but what changed?"

  Edward stayed silent for several minutes, not wanting to admit that he went to Jim for help. When he didn't reply, Kristen pressed. "Edward?"

  "I.. asked Detective Gordon for advice, and he told me to just be honest about it and ask you."

  Kristen didn't reply right away, which made him nervous. He looked over to find her smiling to herself. "Is that funny?" he asked, confused. He hadn't found it funny, just embarrassing, so why was she smiling?

  "No, it's.. sweet," she said, smiling even wider. "And kind of funny. Why did you need to ask for help? Haven't you asked girls out before?"

  "A few. It never went well." Detective Gordon had warned him to pay attention to Kristen's body language and change the subject if she seemed uncomfortable, but he was uncomfortable and wanted to change the subject. "Did you really think I was trying to run you off?"

  "I wasn't sure what to think. It never occurred to me that you liked me, so I really couldn't think of another explanation."

  "Why did it never occur to you?"

  "Most guys are very forward about what they want, you know? It's usually obvious."

  "Oh," was all Edward could think to say. He didn't tell her that most guys were lust-driven animals with no manners; she probably already knew that. Kristen seemed to pick up on his unease, because she started asking him questions well away from the subject of dating.

  "Have you lived in Gotham long?"

  "My whole life, and you?"

  "I've lived here for several years, but I didn't grow up here."

  "Do Mr. and Mrs. Kringle have any other children, possibly with holiday themed names?" Edward asked teasingly.

  Kristen laughed. "No, just me. What about you, do you come from a big family?"

  "No, it's just me as well. Between you and I, I don't think my parents had planned to have me."

  "Ah, well.. You're here, that's what counts."

  Edward gave her a small smile. "Thank you."

  They walked in silence for a while, and Edward stole glances at Kristen whenever he couldn't feel her eyes on him. She caught him eventually, and he took the opportunity to ask something that had been eating at him. "Why did you agree to this date?"

  Kristen's face turned pink. "I've always thought you were cute, and when I realized you thought the same of me, and weren't just trying to scare me off, I thought 'why not?' I mean, dates are a better way of getting to know someone."

  It was Edward's turn to blush. _She thought he was cute._ A wide smile spread across his face, and a laugh of relief escaped. He had hope that the date might go far better than he could have imagined. "I'm glad you decided to get to know me, Kristen."

  "Me, too, Edward."

 

-

 

  The night went much smoother than Edward had originally thought it would, but he couldn't say it was without incident. When they were riding the Ferris wheel - one of the few rides Edward could stomach - Kristen asked him to put his arm around her to shield her bare shoulders from the breeze, which he was happy to oblige, until he felt the unmistakeable tightness in his jeans at the feeling of her body pressed against his. Fortunately, it was gone before their ride came to an end, and Kristen didn't seem to have noticed. After that, they shared a funnel cake and played games. Kristen was a surprisingly good aim and won him a plush raccoon dressed as a robber. He didn't do as well at the game, but won a fuzzy rose and gave it to her. 

  Before he knew it, the sun had set and it was starting to get cold. They left the boardwalk and he hailed a taxi; walking would mean a little more time spent with her, but he didn't have a jacket to lend her.

  "Would you like to stop and get something to eat?" he asked once they were settled in the back of the cab.

  "No, I'm alright, thanks." She gave the driver her address and they were off. The ride was silent, but it was comfortable, and all too soon, the cab pulled to a stop outside Kristen's building. Edward opened the door and climbed out, offering her his hand as she slid out after him. He poked his head back into the cab to tell the driver to keep the meter running before closing the door and walking with Kristen up the front steps of the complex.

  "I had a good time tonight, Edward. I'm glad you finally asked," Kristen said, standing on the top step.

  Edward nodded, his eyes level with hers for once as he stood on the step below. "I'm glad you gave me a chance. Maybe we could do this again sometime? I mean, you know, do something different, but... another date?"

  "Yeah, I think we should."

  "Great," Edward smiled. "I'll see you around, then."

  "See you," Kristen said, though she didn't move an inch from where she stood. Edward didn't either. He continued looking into her eyes, dumbfounded that the night had gone as well as it had. It took him a few seconds to realize she was lingering, like she expected something. Was this the moment Jim had told him about? Should he kiss her? If he waited too long, the moment might pass, so he grabbed her waist and pulled her toward him, tilting his head as he leaned in for a kiss. She leaned in, too, her hands moving to his shoulders as she pressed her lips to his. They were as soft as they looked, and Edward had the sudden desire to taste them, so he parted his lips and ran his tongue along the top of her lower lip. She sighed, opening her mouth a little and flicking his tongue with hers. He wasn't sure what to do, so he mimicked her. He felt her smile into the kiss, and he smiled too, then kissed her again.

  When they parted, she grinned at him. "Was that your first kiss?"

  "Yes, why?" he asked, worried. "Was it bad?"

  "No, I was just curious," she answered with a look that was more devious than curious. "Goodnight, Edward."

  "Goodnight, Kristen." He climbed down the steps, then turned to watch her disappear into the building, safely behind locked doors. He went back to the taxi, climbed in, and gave the driver his address.

  "Good night, huh, kid?" the driver asked as they pulled away from the curb.

  "Great night," Edward corrected, squeezing his robber raccoon.


	6. Lesson 6

  Edward arrived at the station early, like always, the following Monday. He hung up his jacket in his office, trading it for his lab coat. He continued to the break room, helping himself to a cup of coffee and a newspaper. There were a few people around, mostly overnight workers waiting for the end of their shift; Edward found an empty table near the window. Settling neatly in his chair, he sipped at the fresh coffee and scanned the contents of the front page. His attention was stolen after a few minutes, hearing heels clicking toward the room. Ed looked up, eyes fixed on the doorway almost accusingly, his hand paused halfway in the process of lifting his mug to his lips. Kristen stepped into the room, and Edward panicked, not wanting her to catch him staring. He looked down, realized his coffee was inches from his face, and brought the mug to his mouth, accidentally taking a large swallow. It burned his throat on the way down, making him wince and set the mug down. He coughed and looked back at his paper, trying to pretend it was fascinating while discreetly glancing at Kristen. She was dressed in a grey pencil skirt and a white blouse with a modest v-shaped neckline. He thought back to the black skirt she'd been wearing when she had answered her door the previous Saturday. Edward thought she looked lovely regardless, but he really preferred the black skirt.

  When Kristen had finished pouring herself coffee, she turned to find a place to sit and eat what looked like a blueberry muffin. Edward quickly glanced down at the newspaper, hoping she would see him and come sit with him. Her short heels began to click again, and he had to fight the urge to smile as he heard them come closer. "Is this seat taken?" she asked.

  He looked up, allowing himself only a small grin. "Not at all." Edward sat the newspaper down, lacing his fingers together as he rested his forearms on the table.

  "How was-"

  "Did you-"

  They both spoke at once, then paused to let the other go first. Edward gestured for Kristen to go first. "Did you enjoy the rest of your weekend?" she asked politely, pulling off a piece of her muffin.

  "It was quiet," he said with a nod. He wanted to add 'and boring, without you,' but he thought that might be best kept to himself. "I watched a few science fiction movies, read, played this new video game I bought last week."

  Kristen chewed the bit of muffin she had put in her mouth while he was talking, her expression attentive and relaxed. "I did a lot of reading, then had a lengthy bubble bath and a glass of wine," she shrugged casually, clearly unaware that mentioning herself taking a bath was _not_ casual to Edward. He tried his best not to picture her, laying in a bathtub, her nakedness covered only by mountains of bubbles, sipping a glass of wine. He also tried not to think about joining her in that tub, maybe rubbing her shoulders to help her relax.

  Edward pulled himself out of the daydream, realizing with a jolt of embarrassment that Kristen was watching him, a look of judgement and amusement on her face. "Can we just pretend I replied to that like a normal person and..."

  "Not tried to envision me taking a bubble bath?" Kristen finished for him, much to his mortification. "Deal. Though I suppose that is normal. Not that I'm encouraging it," she added, her eyebrow arched and her face serious.

  He nodded his understanding, too embarrassed to speak just yet. He had wanted this to go differently, maybe even be on his way to asking her for a second date by now, but as she looked at him over the rim of her glasses, it was all he could do not to excuse himself and leave the break room as quickly as possible. Edward remained seated, though; his panicky, over-analyzing days had been put behind him and he refused to go back to that when he had come this far.

  "I'm sorry," he finally managed, knowing there was no use in denying it. Meeting her eyes held conflicting interests for him, but he did after a moment of internal self-badgering. She no longer had a stern look, however; she had moved the muffin to her mouth and was nibbling at it, looking at him expectantly. Edward tilted his head, unsure about the situation.

  "Um, Kristen, I - would you like to go somewhere again? With me?" he asked, careful to hold her gaze. He didn't want to sound pushy, but he also wasn't sure what the protocol was for asking someone out again. That would've been a good question for Detective Gordon, but it was too late now. She lowered the muffin, looking him over - then gave him a small smile.  

  "What did you have in mind?"

  "We could have dinner, some night this week, perhaps?"

  Kristen thought it over, lightly biting her lower lip. "I think I could get out early on Wednesday."

  Edward grinned triumphantly, relief and confidence surging through him. "Excellent!" He took another sip of his coffee, breaking eye contact briefly to set the mug on the table gently. "Do you have a preference in cuisine?"

  "I'm not terribly picky. You can surprise me," Kristen said, taking a bite of her muffin. She looked about to say something else after swallowing, but a glance at her watch seemed to change her mind. "I need to get down to the annex, but I'll see you around, okay?"

  She pushed back in her chair and stood to leave; Edward opened his mouth, then closed it again. He would see her around, and she had accepted his offer of another date, but he wished she could stay a bit longer. Kristen paused, then sat her muffin down and fished a pen out of her purse. She moved around the table to stand next to him, bent forward and scribbled her number on the corner of the newspaper laying, ignored, on the table. She looked at him when she had finished, flicking her hair to the other side as she did so. "I only have one condition in giving this to you, Nygma. No late night riddles."

  He smiled shyly. "I promise." He watched her pick up her muffin and leave the break room, her scent still lingering beside him, soft and comfortable. He ripped the corner that held her number from the paper, tucked it neatly into his pocket, and went back to his office to finish his coffee and look for a good restaurant online.

 

  A few hours later, Edward went looking for Detective Gordon to report the events of his date with Kristen. Beaming widely when he saw Jim sitting at his desk, he crossed the room, weaving in and out of people and objects. He climbed the steps two at a time and he was standing beside Gordon before the other man had even seen him. "Detective Gordon?" he greeted tentatively, trying not to startle him for once. Jim looked up from a file he was reading.

  "Hey, Ed," Detective Gordon replied, giving him a small smile. He seemed distracted. "Did you have your big date?"

  "I did," he proudly announced. "It went rather well."

  "Yeah?" the new voice startled Edward; Detective Bullock appeared from behind him, smiling at Edward as he removed his fedora. "How far did you get?"

  Edward felt his cheeks flame - he hadn't wanted to discuss his date with Bullock for this reason, but the older detective had overheard and he couldn't think of a good enough reason to excuse him. "I-we just kissed," he admitted, lowering his eyes. He had been more than content with that, but he had a horrible feeling that Harvey would ridicule him.

  To his surprise, Harvey patted him on the back - a little too hard. "Good start."

  Jim, who had looked embarrassed for Ed at Bullock's invasive question, smiled and nodded. "So she lingered at her door or did you make a move before that?" he asked, trying to be more delicate than his partner.

  "She lingered. I wasn't sure if it was the signal you had talked about, but I didn't want to miss the chance if it was, so I just went for it," Edward beamed, thoroughly pleased with himself, not only for the kiss, but for having a conversation with co-workers that wasn't related to a case. He felt included - the center of attention, in fact - and it felt nice. "I spoke with Kristen this morning, and I asked her out on another date."

  "And?" Bullock said. Jim looked at Harvey with a raised eyebrow, seemingly just as surprised by Bullock's interest as Edward was. Harvey simply shrugged. "Nygma's love life is more interesting than anything we currently have."

  "She said yes. I'm taking her to dinner this week," Edward answered, confused as to how his "love life" was interesting. Perhaps it was the fact that he now had one that was interesting.

  "That's great, Ed," Jim said, glancing back at the file in his hands. He tossed it onto his desk. "Where are you taking her?"

  Edward frowned. "I'm not sure. I want to take her somewhere nice, but everywhere I've looked at online is horribly expensive."

  Bullock laughed. "Don't wanna blow through your allowance, huh? You could take her to Fish Mooney's place. It's not really expensive, and they have live entertainment."

  Jim grimaced, though Edward suspected it had more to do with Fish's criminal affiliations and less to do with the quality of the establishment. "Maybe that's not such a good idea..."

  "Oh, come on. Fish won't even know who he is!" Harvey argued. "It'll be perfectly safe... inside the club."

  Jim sighed, tossing his hands in an exasperated gesture. "Yeah, I guess. Just, take a taxi."


	7. Lesson 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another Kristen POV. Moving the rating up to M for language.

  After running in to Edward in the break room Monday morning, the rest of the day seemed to go by in a blur. The day passed quickly and without many inconveniences, but also without a visit from Nygma. Her phone rang later that night, however, as she stepped out of the shower.

  "Hello?" she asked politely, pushing strands of wet hair away from her face.

  "Hi, Kristen. It's Edward," the familiar voice announced into her ear.

  "Hi, Edward," she replied. She pulled the phone away from her face and put it on speaker so she could talk and dress simultaneously. 

  "Hello. I hope I'm not disturbing you."

  "No, you're not." Kristen almost told him that he had caught her getting out of the shower, but then remembered that morning's awkwardness and decided not to. She couldn't stop him from fantasizing about her, but she could control what material she gave him to help with it. "How was your day, Edward?" 

  "It went well. There was a call around one in the afternoon; a cyclist had found a body burned to a crisp on the bay." He sounded excited, and Kristen wasn't sure if she should be worried about his mental health or amused at his fascination with gross things. "What about you?"

  Kristen hesitated. Her day hadn't been bad per se, but she had been yelled at by a disgruntled detective when she took too long finding a certain file. "It was okay. I might need to do some tidying up in the annex, but that's a job for another time." She tried to choose her words carefully, knowing Edward would jump at any indication that she was tired of her current filing system. 

  "I see," Edward replied. There was a short pause, followed by, "I'd be happy to help, if you'd like."

  "I'll think about it," she promised. The idea of a complete overhaul of her system was daunting, but the idea of Edward making the system "lateral" made her anxious. 

  "Good. On to the reason I called." She had been wondering if there was one. "I think I found a place for us to go. Detective Bullock recommended it, it's a nightclub run by Fish Mooney. He says they have food and live entertainment, though he refused to specify what sort of entertainment, so I wanted to ask your opinion."

  Kristen thought about it for a moment; she could swear she had heard of the place. "It sounds good to me. I'm fine with trying new things."

  Edward exhaled into the phone, seeming relieved that she was okay with the idea. "Great! Should I pick you up from your place or do you want to go there straight from the station?"

  "We can go straight after work, I'll just wear something a bit dressier." 

  "Okay then, I'll see you tomorrow. Goodnight, Kristen."

  "Goodnight, Edward."

 

  Wednesday passed incredibly slow. Kristen spent the first half of the day pulling files for what seemed like every single detective at the precinct, and the second half of the day taking inventory and cross-checking the list with her log of file check-outs. All morning, she found herself glancing at the clock more often than usual, but thought nothing of it beyond the desire to take her lunch break and get out of the annex for a bit. After lunch, however, she realized the strange tightness in her stomach hadn't gone away, and time still felt like it was dragging, despite having plenty of work to do with her inventory. Kristen wouldn't have admitted it to anyone, but she decided she must be nervous about her date. It was odd, given that this was her second date with Edward, that she should be feeling nervous now. She had felt apprehensive leading up to the first one, but this was definitely nerves. Kristen resigned to focus solely on the files she was going through instead of the impending evening with Edward. 

  A light knock at the door made her jump and nearly drop the clipboard she was holding. Kristen looked up at the clock; it was five minutes to six and the knock had been Edward, who entered the annex with a smile. "Hello, Kristen."

  She looked up at him from where she sat on the floor, a smile slowly creeping onto her face. It had felt longer, but she had managed to pass the last four hours. "Hi, Edward. Sorry, I didn't realize what time it was. Let me just put this away." She got up carefully, straightening the skirt of her dress and bending to pick up the stacks of files. Edward rushed forward to help. 

  "Not a problem, I just thought I'd come down to make sure you hadn't gotten held up," Edward explained as he picked up the two largest stacks. 

  Kristen stood once she had gathered the rest of the papers. "Just lost track of time. The day was going by really slowly, so I just stopped looking at the clock." She walked over to her desk and sat the files down, Edward following closely. 

  "I understand. Time couldn't pass quick enough, but it's finally six o'clock." He sat the stacks neatly next to the others, then gave her a grin. "Shall we?"

  Grabbing her purse and jacket - she had chosen a black fitted blazer, as one of her usual cardigans wouldn't have gone with her dress - and nodded. "I'm ready."

 

  The club was certainly something new, and Kristen was glad that she had chosen one of her slinkiest dresses to wear. It was a shimmering midnight blue and went to her lower thigh, but looking around at the patrons of the nightclub, she thought she still stood out. One glance at Edward in his black, three piece suit and the uncomfortable look on his face, and she could tell he felt the same. They were promptly greeted by a waitress, a girl no older than twenty-two, wearing a tight-fitting, low-cut dress and dark eye shadow. "Welcome to Fish Mooney's, would you like a table or booth?" 

  "A booth, please," Kristen answered politely. The waitress gave her a smile that didn't reach her eyes, then turned on her (high) heel and led them to a booth to the left of the stage. The live entertainment was already performing; a troupe of barely-clothed women were dancing around the stage in blurs of glittering stones. Kristen looked at Edward, not sure which side of the booth he would prefer. She let him choose first, pretending to watch the dancers before sitting down. He chose the side facing away from the stage, and Kristen sat down opposite him. 

  "Can I get you something to drink?" the waitress asked sweetly as she handed them both menus. 

  Kristen looked at Edward - he said he would be happy to pay, but she would feel bad to ask for anything expensive. He gave her a quick nod. "I'll - have a glass of red wine, please."

  "I'll have the same," Edward said, giving the girl a quick glance before smiling at Kristen and opening his menu. The waitress walked away with a heavy clicking of her heels and Kristen mused at how awful it would be to have a job that required the wearing of "fuck-me" pumps. Looking around, she saw that all the waitresses were dressed similarly and that all of their shoes were a minimum of four inches. Cringing internally, she turned back to Edward. "What do you think?" he asked, looking around at the other patrons.

  "That I wouldn't want to work here, if one of the job requirements were those heels," she answered with a smirk. She knew what he had been asking, of course; he was probably worried that this place seemed tacky to her. "It looks fun, though. This place, not the fuck-me heels."

  Edward's head snapped back to stare at her so quickly, she could've sworn she heard it pop even over the moderate volume of both the music and the conversations around them. She tried to act shocked at herself, but she could tell by the shift in his expression that she wasn't pulling it off. "Excuse my language," she added lamely.

  "I-I've just never heard you swear before, it surprised me, that's all," he explained, almost apologetically. Just then, the waitress came clicking back to the table with their wine. She set each glass down gently, then stood there expectantly. After a moment of exchanged looks between Kristen and Edward, Edward and their waitress, and their waitress and Kristen, the girl asked with the faintest edge of impatience in her voice, "Would you like a few more minutes to decide?"

  "Yes, please," Edward replied at once. The girl left again, nearly stomping off to another of her tables. Kristen took a sip of her wine, glancing at the stage and finding the group of dancers in a line, hands on the next girl's hips and shaking their butts in a way that made her dizzy to watch. Out of the corner of her eye, she spotted a woman approaching, though certainly not their waitress. This woman looked a great deal classier, with smooth, dark skin, short hair, and a walk that said she was in charge. She stopped at their booth, a warm smile on her face as she rested her arm on the high back of the seat Edward was sitting in. 

  "Well, aren't you two cute as buttons?" she said, her voice deep yet tender. "I'm Fish Mooney. Harvey said you might be coming in, so I thought I'd come over and say hello." She looked at them both in turn, her brown eyes sparkling in the dimmed lights. "If you need anything, let me know." She took her arm off the seat, but paused and added, "Oh, and tell your waitress your next round is on me."

  "Thank you, Ms. Mooney, but I really couldn't accept-" Edward began, a blush creeping up his neck.

  Fish cut him off with a _tsk_. "Of course you can, it's my pleasure," she insisted, her voice a purr as she put a finger under his chin, lifting his face to meet his eyes. She smiled at him again. "Any friend of Harvey's is a friend of mine." Fish pulled her finger away slowly, letting her long nail drag lightly against his skin. She turned to go, giving Kristen a small wink as she walked off toward the bar.

  "She's friendly," Kristen commented once the woman called Fish was out of earshot. She had felt strangely possessive when Fish was touching Edward. Looking at him now, she saw his blush was gradually spreading to his cheeks. When he met her eyes, he gave a short nod of agreement before lowering his eyes to the menu in his hands. She did the same, opening her menu to read the options. Seafood was, unsurprisingly, a good deal of the items listed, with steak, chicken and salads filling out the rest. 

  After they ordered, they tried watching the dancers, but Edward seemed uncomfortable and more inclined to talk. They exchanged stories about their childhood - mostly funny or embarrassing stories, and talked about their families, Kristen more than Edward. She had a large extended family, a huge clan of Kringles, since her father was the third of five boys. They paused when their food came, Kristen momentarily forgetting her story about her cousin Marcus Kringle getting stuck in a tree when they were 10; she had ordered grilled salmon with a side of skewered shrimp and it's smell reminded her that she hadn't eaten anything but a sandwich and an apple since noon. Edward had ordered a salad with light dressing, prompting Kristen to tease him about which of them was more concerned about watching their figure. Edward joked about how much work went into maintaining a human mantis physique. 

 

  After dinner, Edward hailed a cab and they headed to Kristen's apartment building. The drive went quicker than expected, and as the cab pulled to a stop in front of her building, Kristen turned to Edward. "It's still pretty early," she started. "Do you want to come upstairs?"

  Edward stared at her for a long moment, apparently unsure what to make of the request. "I'd love to," he managed. "Let me just... pay the driver."

  Kristen nodded and climbed out of the cab; she couldn't be sure, but it sounded like the cabbie whispered 'good luck' to Edward as he handed him the cash. She fought the urge to smile at the look on Edward's face as he climbed out after her; he looked somewhere between embarrassed and pleased.


	8. Lesson 8: Patience

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Though he didn't realize it when he woke up that morning, Edward was in for the night of his life.

  Once upstairs in Kristen's apartment, she peeled off her jacket, then offered to hang his. Edward shrugged out of his suit jacket, handing it over. She hung it neatly in the corner, next to her own, then smiled shyly at him. "Would you like another glass of wine?"

  "Ms. Kringle, are you trying to get me drunk?" Edward asked jokingly, though he did wonder if that was her intention. 

  "I might be," Kristen replied innocently, taking a slow step toward him. They hadn't had much to drink at the club - only two glasses each - and while he wasn't drunk, Edward did feel a bit buzzed. 

  "Why would you want me to be intoxicated?" he asked, taking a small step toward her. Her eyes were fixed on him, gliding down his body and back up to his face in a way that made him feel far more exposed than he actually was. There was something in her eyes that he had never seen before; not just from her, but from anyone. 

  "I just want you to feel relaxed," she answered with another step. 

  "I feel relaxed right now," Edward insisted, taking the final step to close the space between them. He looked down at Kristen and put his hands on her hips. He bent his neck a little, pausing, uncertain, mere inches away from her face. She glanced at his lips, then back to his eyes, peering over the rim of her glasses with a look that made his stomach tighten. That look was all the confirmation he needed; he pressed his lips to hers, kissing her deeply. Kristen moaned into the kiss, her lips parting and Edward took advantage of the opportunity. He parted his own lips, just enough to give his tongue room to push through and taste her lips. He felt her move, and thought she meant to end the kiss, until he felt her fingers in his hair, tussling it as she tried to grab enough to hold on to. Edward pulled Kristen closer, pressing his body against hers as his tongue pushed a little deeper; as a scientist, he felt it necessary to find out if the rest of Kristen tasted as sweet as her lips. She seemed to welcome it, too - the hand in his hair clenched slightly, her fingernails scratching lightly at his scalp, and her other hand grabbed his right ass cheek and squeezed. 

  Now it was his turn to moan into the kiss. He felt his blood rushing away from his brain at an unforgiving speed, with the alcohol making him dizzier than it normally would have. Edward leaned into Kristen a little for support, and she leaned back. She stopped kissing him, but stayed where she was, her lips still lingering close enough to graze his. "Do you want to go to my bedroom?" she asked breathlessly.

  Edward squeezed his eyes tight before opening them. "Can you pinch me first, so I know I'm not just dreaming this?" he asked, still holding her hips firmly. Kristen smiled against his mouth and gave him another quick peck. 

  "I promise, you're not dreaming."

  "Then yes, Ms. Kringle, I do want to go to your bedroom." He let go of her hips, begrudgingly, and she let go of his hair and his buttocks, taking him by the hand instead. He adjusted himself to a less painful angle as he followed, his already fast heartbeat quickening with each step in the direction of her bedroom. She flicked on the light as they entered, and where he would have been curious about his new surroundings in another situation, he could only focus on her as she walked backwards, pulling him toward the bed. She laid down, still tugging for him to follow. Edward climbed onto the bed, kneeling between Kristen's legs and bracing himself with one hand as he bent down to kiss her again. Kristen arched into the kiss, one hand tangling in his short hair and the other tugging at the knot on his tie to loosen it. He paused for a moment, pulling back a little to look down at her. 

  "What is it?" she asked, looking disappointed that he had stopped.

  "I've.. I've never done this before," Edward replied. He doubted it counted as a confession, but he still wanted to be sure they were on the same page. 

  "I know. It's okay," Kristen assured him, the hand in his hair sliding down to touch his cheek. "Do you want to stop?"

  "No!" he answered immediately, and loudly. He cleared his throat, then tried again. "Not at all, I just... didn't want you to expect too much, I guess."

  Kristen laughed, but without any hint of mockery. "Don't worry about that. We'll take it slow." Her hand moved to the back of his neck, pulling him down for another kiss. With his free hand, Edward combed through her hair until he was cradling the back of her head. He straightened his legs slowly, easing himself lower until he was laying on top of her. She pulled one leg up and wrapped it around his thigh, and Edward pressed his clothed erection against her panties. Kristen whimpered into his mouth, then grabbed his ass again and pulled his pelvis closer. He rolled his hips, desperate for the friction. His mind was fogging over; his only focus was Kristen - her lips, her body beneath his, her hands on his body. Edward had thought about being with Kristen intimately before, but even in his own mind, it had never gone this well. He hoped he wouldn't be awful at it, but as he didn't have any prior experience with kissing, let alone sex, it didn't seem likely that he would be impressing Kristen tonight. 

  She broke the kiss, her breasts pressing against his chest with the rhythm of her breathing. "Maybe we should get undressed?" she suggested, to which Edward wordlessly nodded his agreement. He was feeling flush and the suit he was wearing didn't help at all. He pushed himself up, then climbed off the bed, swaying a little as he stood. Kristen sat up and slid off the bed after him, wasting no time in helping him with his clothes first. She had his vest unbuttoned and pushed off his shoulders in less than ten seconds. Edward stood there as she unbuttoned his shirt next, watching her work with delicate but deft hands. When she was done, she opened the shirt, her fingertips ghosting over his sides as she did. He felt the hairs on the back of his neck stand, and small goosebumps form where her fingers had touched. Kristen looked up at him with a small smile, then looked back down at his torso, pressing her hands flat against his stomach and slowly moving them up. When her hands reached his pecs, she hesitated, then continued up to his collarbone, tracing it with her thumbs as she pushed shirt off his shoulders. Her hands chased the material down his arms, as if she was as eager to touch as much of him as he was to touch her. He wasn't particularly  _built_ , he knew, but he did have some muscle definition in his arms and legs. 

  After the shirt fell to the floor, Kristen traced his hip bones with her fingernails, edging slowly but steadily closer to the front of his trousers. Her fingers stopped at the waistband and she hesitated briefly before moving to the button. Edward's heart was beating sporadically now, and he hadn't even begun to undress her. She toyed with the zipper, then, evidently thinking better of it for the time being, pressed the palm of her hand against his erection and stroked him through his pants. Edward sucked in a breath through gritted teeth, his eyes closing at the touch. He felt Kristen kiss his lips, then his neck, clavicle, and sternum. His cock was twitching under her palm - surely she had to feel it? - and growing even harder, which he hadn't thought was possible. "Kristen," he heard himself murmur, but he couldn't think of anything to put after it. Did he tell her to just take off his pants already? Was it proper to ask her to do things to him? He knew what he wanted her to do, but what if she didn't want to? Thankfully, she seemed to get the message without any words; Kristen pulled down the zipper and hooked her thumbs on the waistband, tugging his pants down. He felt air on his cock, making him open his eyes and look down. The sight he found sent a shiver of arousal down his spine; Kristen had dropped to her knees as she pulled his pants to his ankles and was now looking up at him with his cock an inch from her face. With her eyes fixed on him, she wrapped her hand around the base and stroked the length, her wrist doing a twisting motion as she did. He watched her wet her lips then bring her mouth to the tip of his cock and suck. Edward moaned softly at the new and absolutely amazing sensation; his first impulse was to close his eyes, but he didn't want to miss any of it. She opened her mouth and licked the length of him, then took him into her mouth again, more this time and sucked as she pulled back to the tip. Kristen continued sucking, torturously slow, all the while watching him watch her. He wasn't sure what to do with his hands, so he cautiously put one on the side of her head, pushing his fingers into her hair. With a sudden, wet  _pop,_ Kristen pulled her mouth off of him and gave him one more stroke before standing back up. 

  "My turn," she said, turning her back to him. Edward pulled the zipper down in a hurry, pushing the straps off her shoulders and kissing the bare flesh. Her dress dropped to the floor; glancing down, he saw that she was wearing a black thong to match her bra. 

  "Ms. Kringle, was it your intention to get me here all along?" he whispered into her ear as he grabbed her hips. 

  "Not exactly," Kristen admitted, laying her head back on his chest. "But I thought I'd come prepared."

  He spun her where she stood and kissed her, one hand lowering to cup her ass and the other sliding up her back possessively. She returned the kiss, her hands on his back immediately, nails digging into his skin. Just then, a thought occurred to him and he stopped. "Speaking of prepared.. I'm not," he said, frowning. "That's to say, I don't have a condom." He didn't even keep any at his apartment. 

  "I have some," she nodded to the nightstand by her bed, taking the opportunity to reach behind her and unhook her bra. She pulled the straps off her arms and threw it to the floor, never taking her eyes off him. Edward's gaze was drawn down; the swell of her breasts was captivating. Before he could touch them, though, she moved away, stepping backwards out of her dress and backing up to the bed, where she sat. He bent down and quickly untied his shoes, kicking them off before pulling off his pants and socks. Lastly, he removed his boxers; it was an odd feeling, to be standing exposed before the girl he'd been pining over for so long. She looked him over, but he didn't feel scrutinized, or even that uncomfortable. He stepped up to the bed, lifted her and moved her further up, then gently pushed her to her back. He hovered over her, one hand on the bed and the other on her breast. Edward bent down and licked the other, dragging his tongue over her nipple and earning a sharp inhale. He smiled to himself at the sound, then took her nipple into his mouth and sucked gently, his hand squeezing her other breast almost roughly. Her breasts were soft and easily the prettiest sight he'd ever seen, but he still had one more area that was as-yet unfamiliar to him. Edward let go of her breast, his hand pressing against her pale skin as he slid it downward. When his hand was met with fabric, he grunted in annoyance, but proceeded anyway. He pressed his palm against her cunt, which was already wet much to his relief. His fingers found her clitoris and he circled it, pressing down every few turns. Kristen moaned and arched her back, giving him more confidence in what he should do. Edward turned his hand so that his thumb was pressed against her clit and pushed her panties to the side with his other fingers. He cautiously pushed one finger inside, still rubbing her clit firmly; she moaned a little louder this time, so Edward experimentally added a second finger. He worked his fingers in and out of her, slowly, still a bit unsure. Her vagina was tight around his fingers, but warm and inviting. Moving down from her chest, Edward pulled his fingers out and licked them. It was a weird taste - not unpleasant, but certainly unusual. He grabbed the straps of her thong and tugged; Kristen raised her hips so he could pull it down her legs. Edward tossed the panties on the floor, then settled on his knees between Kristen's legs.

  For a moment, he seemed to have forgotten what he was about to do; all he could do was stare at Kristen's sex. He'd seen vaginas before, of course, but never in person. Collecting his wits, Edward leaned forward and gave her clitoris a small lick. "Mmm," Kristen murmured from the bed. "Yes." He licked her again, brushing his tongue up and down. Kristen's legs twitched on either side of his head, which he took for approval. Edward licked faster and pushed his fingers back inside. Above him, he could hear Kristen writhing around a little. With his free hand, he stroked himself lazily, but never slowed his tongue on her cunt. Kristen was moaning more, and while he didn't want to ruin whatever right he was doing, he did want to see what sort of reaction he'd get from sucking on her clitoris like he had with her nipple. When his tongue stopped, he heard an aggravated sigh - which turned into a gasp when he took her clitoris between his lips and sucked. "Don't stop," she groaned, her hands gripping the edge of the mattress suddenly. Edward did as he was told; he continued to work his fingers in and out of her while he sucked. Her hips jerked and he stopped touching himself to hold her in place. Kristen's hand was in his hair again, forcing him closer to her cunt and holding him there. "Oh my - Edward!" she half shouted, her legs now twitching again, more violently than before. He continued to suck on her clit and finger her, until she pushed his head away, her breathing rapid. He leaned back, looking up at her writhing form, wondering why she had pushed him away when she seemed to like it. 

  "Did I do something wrong?" he asked when she had settled down a bit. 

  Kristen propped herself up on an elbow so she could see him. "No," she replied quietly. "I had an orgasm and it was too much stimulation." 

  "Oh," Edward's face lit up with pride. "Really?" At least if he screwed up with the intercourse, he had done this right. He licked her wetness from his lips, mentally cataloging the taste - slightly bitter, but intriguing. 

  "Yes, really," she said with a chuckle. Sitting up, Kristen bent forward and gave him a short kiss as she pulled off her shoes. When she pulled back, she nodded toward the drawer of her nightstand. Edward stood and opened the drawer; there were a few different kinds of condoms, including a magnum, which he didn't have the ego to choose. He picked out an average sized condom with the word  _Ribbed_ on the wrapper. He tore it open as Kristen found a better position on the bed, and made sure the tip of the condom was facing the right way before putting it on the head of his cock and rolling it down to the base. He climbed onto the bed and settled between her legs, then paused, not completely sure how to proceed. Obviously, he knew where to proceed, but his nerves were starting to take hold and make him question himself. "Are you ready?" Kristen asked, concern plain on her face as she looked up at him. "We can still stop, you know, if you aren't."

  "Am I ready?" Edward repeated, more to himself than her. "Something of a loaded question, if I think about it, but yes." Kristen nodded and put her hand on his arm, rubbing slowly; it was comforting, and he shook away the thoughts of self-doubt. He wanted this, badly, and he  _was_ ready to lose his virginity. Taking a calming breath, Edward grabbed his cock and rubbed her clit with his length, then guided the tip back down to her hole and gently pushed inside. Kristen made the most delicious gasping sound as he entered her, making his cock twitch at her opening. He both watched and listened for any signs of discomfort from her as he continued to push forward, and while her eyebrows were knitted together, she didn't seem to be in any pain. She was very tight, despite the work he'd done with his fingers, and the constriction hurt a little as he finally pushed in to the base. He swallowed back a moan and stayed still for a moment, to give both of them a chance to adapt, then pulled out slowly and pushed back in, a little faster this time. The hand on his arm tightened, and Kristen slipped her other hand under his arm to stroke his back. 

  "Good," she whispered. "Take it slow." He did as she said, pulling out to the head of his cock and slowly pushing back in. It was almost unfair; he wanted to go faster, slam into her without inhibition, but she clearly knew more about what to do than he did, so Edward obliged. The pain from the tightness of her walls was subsiding, pleasure taking its place as the snug warmth occasionally gave him a gentle squeeze. Kristen pulled her legs up higher, resting her knees on either side of his waist. With the new angle, he could feel himself pushing deeper; he thrust all the way to his base again, but paused before moving to pull out. He flexed the muscles in his groin and Kristen inhaled sharply. "You-You can go a little faster. And, um, roll your hips when you thrust," she instructed. 

  Doing as she suggested, Edward pulled back again and rolled his hips, thrusting in and pulling back out in one fluid motion. It was an improvement, so he did it again, but a bit faster, causing them both to moan. He looked down at her with a sheepish grin, noticing for the first time the pink coloring on her cheeks that most certainly wasn't make-up. She was beautiful, and she was his, at least for the night. He bent down and kissed her deeply, keeping his thrusts short and hard. Kristen arched her back and dug her nails into his skin, rolling her hips against his with each thrust. Edward could feel his pleasure building, but he didn't want to come yet. He slowed his pace again and ended the kiss with a last peck to her lips. "I was about to arrive at my conclusion," he explained as he stopped thrusting. 

  Kristen grinned. "Lay down," she murmured. He held the condom to his base as he pulled out, then climbed over to the empty side of the bed and laid on his back. Kristen straddled his hips and held his cock as she aligned the tip with her hole. "This way, you can watch." Edward wasn't sure what she meant by that, until she began to lower herself down the length of his cock. It was frightfully arousing to watch his cock disappear inside her, and for a moment he wondered if it made him narcissistic to be turned on watching himself fuck her, until he realized she was the one fucking him now. She lowered herself down to the base, then lifted back up and rolled her hips in a small circle before going back down. Edward moaned and grabbed her hips, but let her continue to do the work, for now. She put her hands over his and used her legs to rise up his shaft and slide back down, rolling her hips forward to grind against his pelvis each time they met. She was going slow and taking her time, though he wasn't sure if it was to give him a show or to keep him from coming too soon. It felt amazing regardless. He pushed his hips up as Kristen lowered herself, biting his lip in concentration. "Edward," she mumbled, closing her eyes, lifting up again.

  "Yes, Kristen?" he asked innocently, relaxing his hips before pushing up again.

  "You're a natural," she said, her eyes snapping open and fixing him with a stare. "Let's go a bit faster." She rose and fell, grinding against him roughly, and rose again. Edward was ready this time, and bucked up hard as she came back down, making her shiver. He met her for each thrust, faster and harder every few paces; it was more of a work out than he was used to, but Edward was determined to keep up. Kristen whimpered and squeezed his hands, leaning back slightly. He tightened his hands on her hips, helping to guide her up and down, as if she needed the help. It was a wonderful feeling, he mused as he watched her breasts bounce, being in sync with her. She was moving faster now, her moans interrupted only by her breaths. Edward sat up and wrapped his arms around her, pumping his hips in short, hard thrusts. He was panting now, and could feel sweat on his brow and shoulders. He pressed his lips against her skin, everywhere he could reach. Kristen's nails scratched at his back, raking long trails into his skin. She cried out, grabbing a fistful of his hair and yanking, her eyes squeezing shut as she moaned and mumbled his name. Edward hoped it was another orgasm and knew he should stop if it was, but he was too close; the sensations were overwhelming him and he could feel the tightness in his balls. With a few more hard thrusts, he came, moaning as his spunk filled the condom. He rested his forehead against her chest, listening to their breaths rattle and their hearts beat. 

  When he felt settled enough to move again, he reached between them and carefully eased Kristen up and off of his cock, then laid back on the bed, pulling Kristen down with him. She laid there, trying to catch her breath, fingers combing his hair. His mind was blissfully quiet and calm for a whole five minutes as they laid wrapped together. Then he began to feel awkward. Would he need to leave soon? Should he stay the night? Where did they stand now, were they a couple? These thoughts and others floated around Nygma's mind as his breathing slowed. Kristen must have noticed the silence; he felt her head shift and when he glanced down, she was watching him. "What is it, Edward?" 

  "Just thinking," he answered, not sure if he should share his thoughts. She prodded his side when he didn't elaborate, and tweaked his nipple when he ignored the poke. "Alright! I.. I guess I was wondering if I should leave or not. I'm not sure what the protocol is."

  Kristen worried her lip. "It depends, really. If this were just a one-night stand, you would leave."

  "But it's not a one-night stand," Edward protested, then quickly added, "I don't want it to be, I mean."

  "It isn't."

  "Then what is it?" Edward pressed, eager and anxious for her opinion.

  Kristen lifted herself up and hovered an inch above his face. "A great end to a date," she said, leaning down to kiss him. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Of the few fics I've read of Edward losing his virginity, most people seem to think he would be a premature ejaculater, or extra clumsy in bed. I don't see that in him, given his confidence while flirting with Kristen in 1x06 - he clearly knows how to be smooth, when he's not over-thinking it.


End file.
